Whew. The major 2014 Jewish holidays, which ate up every single one of my vacation days, and then some, are done. I’ve never been more excited to go back to work on Monday with the knowledge that I will have a five day week. I like routines; I like being in control of my own schedule. Sure, there will be Thanksgiving and then Chanukah/Hanukah/Hanukka in December, but it’s more spread out and/or less of an eating fest.
I mentioned last week that I didn’t eat too well over the first part of the holiday, and only half-assly tried to stop myself. Unfortunately, this weekend wasn’t much better. Once again, I made a few good choices - having an apple when all I wanted was the leftover lava cake (made by yours truly, since I’m such a genius), and plenty of bad ones - eating the leftover lava cake the next day, when it wasn’t even that good anymore. I also didn’t move enough, despite my noble intentions to take a couple of long walks. This morning the scale was at 183.4 - some of that is hopefully bloat, but I may have put on a pound or so.
So the holidays were not great in terms of food, but like last week, I am diving right back into old (good) habits. Today my Zumba friend was back, and we went to our fun and calorie burner class, and I ate well and tracked. I am challenged during holidays, but routine I can do.
However confident and happy I am to be sliding back into routine with the confidence that I will finally, finally, get into the 170s, I probably can’t just ignore how much I was not in control over the holiday. Weight issues, I know, go beyond just food. Most people carrying around an extra 50 pounds have more in their head than “Mmm, donuts,” that helped along their weight gain. My issues seem to rear their chubby little selves around most when I’m not holding myself accountable, or I’m not able to to hold myself accountable. These past few weeks have included a lot of days in the second category, when I wasn’t able to track my food intake or weigh myself.
My brain seems to decide that if I’m not able to track, well then, I’d better take advantage of it, by golly. Just like when I was a kid and came across some unsuspecting cookies sitting out on the counter, I would wonder if I could eat two, or three, before my mother realized some were missing. And when I was filling my plate during lunch on Thursday, I knew that whatever I ate wouldn’t see the electronic light of day because I wouldn’t be able to remember that either, when I was finally able to record all my food. And yes, last night, I tried to track, and couldn’t even remember whether I had breakfast on Thursday or just coffee.
Maybe it would have been easier to have no dessert than to decide what I want to have, how much to have of it, and then to estimate how many calories it is. So far, trying to pick and choose has not been a good strategy for me, as I spent so much time and energy trying to figure out what I should eat. Letting myself go was definitely not a good option, since I went overboard. Sweets have always been my main downfall, and aside from fried items, desserts are usually the easiest to overeat. A nice-sized steak can have as many calories as a slice pie, but I would be able to eat half the steak more easily than half a slice of pie.
I’m not really sure how to deal with this, but maybe if I really can get right back on the horse after the holiday is over, it doesn’t matter. If a day can be a day (or even three days be three days) and as long as I’m not going too overboard during those times, for now I can just let the time go, take the pound or so gain that results from it, and acknowledge that my weight loss will take a bit longer because of it. Long-term I do want to figure out these triggers, but for right now being in a routine most of the time is enough.